It ain’t over till the fat lady farts

Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs

I forgot so much I need a scribe

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

It’s just as hard to pick the last place horse as it is the first one.

What beer do lesbians like? Busch

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re working with turkeys

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s way better.

You’re too “PC.” I can’t put what I really want.

A bush in the hand is worth two birds in a tree

You only live twice

The ceiling is the roof

Work is the curse of the drinking class

So many girls, so little time

Call me – 867-5309

All poodles are dogs, but not all dogs are poodles

I forget more than I know

Actually, the best way to get a man is to spoon in the kitchen

We are just a highway on the interstate of life

Best way to get a husband is spooning in the kitchen

A way to a man’s heart is food and BJ’s

Life sucks but the IRS sucks worse

The fate of mankind is with fools

The truth hurts

I apologize but I’m not sorry

If it wasn’t so fine, I wouldn’t grab it

There’s a fine line between drinking wine and crushing grapes

Wolves that don’t chase sheep don’t run

My candor is infectious and delightful

My candor is infectious and delightful

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

Men who stare at breasts are healthier

I’m smooth as a gravel road

A hawk looks like an eagle when he hangs out with crows

They’re so stupid, they don’t know how stupid they are.