A hawk looks like an eagle when he hangs out with crows

The truth hurts

What beer do lesbians like? Busch

I forgot so much I need a scribe

Best way to get a husband is spooning in the kitchen

There’s a fine line between drinking wine and crushing grapes

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

A bush in the hand is worth two birds in a tree

It’s just as hard to pick the last place horse as it is the first one.

Wolves that don’t chase sheep don’t run

Men who stare at breasts are healthier

We are just a highway on the interstate of life

Life sucks but the IRS sucks worse

My candor is infectious and delightful

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re working with turkeys

Actually, the best way to get a man is to spoon in the kitchen

Call me – 867-5309

All poodles are dogs, but not all dogs are poodles

The fate of mankind is with fools

If it wasn’t so fine, I wouldn’t grab it

Work is the curse of the drinking class

So many girls, so little time

The ceiling is the roof

You’re too “PC.” I can’t put what I really want.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

It ain’t over till the fat lady farts

They’re so stupid, they don’t know how stupid they are.

I apologize but I’m not sorry

I’m smooth as a gravel road

I forget more than I know

You only live twice

A way to a man’s heart is food and BJ’s

Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s way better.

My candor is infectious and delightful