My candor is infectious and delightful

We are just a highway on the interstate of life

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

I apologize but I’m not sorry

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re working with turkeys

Call me – 867-5309

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s way better.

A way to a man’s heart is food and BJ’s

So many girls, so little time

My candor is infectious and delightful

Men who stare at breasts are healthier

It ain’t over till the fat lady farts

I’m smooth as a gravel road

Actually, the best way to get a man is to spoon in the kitchen

I forget more than I know

All poodles are dogs, but not all dogs are poodles

The truth hurts

I forgot so much I need a scribe

The fate of mankind is with fools

What beer do lesbians like? Busch

It’s just as hard to pick the last place horse as it is the first one.

The ceiling is the roof

You only live twice

There’s a fine line between drinking wine and crushing grapes

You’re too “PC.” I can’t put what I really want.

A bush in the hand is worth two birds in a tree

Best way to get a husband is spooning in the kitchen

Wolves that don’t chase sheep don’t run

If it wasn’t so fine, I wouldn’t grab it

Life sucks but the IRS sucks worse

A hawk looks like an eagle when he hangs out with crows

Work is the curse of the drinking class

They’re so stupid, they don’t know how stupid they are.