I apologize but I’m not sorry

A hawk looks like an eagle when he hangs out with crows

My candor is infectious and delightful

There’s a fine line between drinking wine and crushing grapes

You only live twice

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

Work is the curse of the drinking class

A bush in the hand is worth two birds in a tree

It ain’t over till the fat lady farts

Wolves that don’t chase sheep don’t run

If it wasn’t so fine, I wouldn’t grab it

So many girls, so little time

They’re so stupid, they don’t know how stupid they are.

What beer do lesbians like? Busch

I forget more than I know

Best way to get a husband is spooning in the kitchen

The fate of mankind is with fools

Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs

Actually, the best way to get a man is to spoon in the kitchen

All poodles are dogs, but not all dogs are poodles

Call me – 867-5309

Life sucks but the IRS sucks worse

It’s just as hard to pick the last place horse as it is the first one.

We are just a highway on the interstate of life

Men who stare at breasts are healthier

The truth hurts

You’re too “PC.” I can’t put what I really want.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

I’m smooth as a gravel road

I forgot so much I need a scribe

The ceiling is the roof

My candor is infectious and delightful

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re working with turkeys

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s way better.

A way to a man’s heart is food and BJ’s