Save a horse, ride a cowboy

We are just a highway on the interstate of life

All poodles are dogs, but not all dogs are poodles

They’re so stupid, they don’t know how stupid they are.

A bush in the hand is worth two birds in a tree

There’s a fine line between drinking wine and crushing grapes

If it wasn’t so fine, I wouldn’t grab it

Actually, the best way to get a man is to spoon in the kitchen

Wolves that don’t chase sheep don’t run

So many girls, so little time

Men who stare at breasts are healthier

A hawk looks like an eagle when he hangs out with crows

Life sucks but the IRS sucks worse

I forgot so much I need a scribe

It’s just as hard to pick the last place horse as it is the first one.

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re working with turkeys

What beer do lesbians like? Busch

My candor is infectious and delightful

A way to a man’s heart is food and BJ’s

Call me – 867-5309

It ain’t over till the fat lady farts

You’re too “PC.” I can’t put what I really want.

The fate of mankind is with fools

Work is the curse of the drinking class

Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs

Best way to get a husband is spooning in the kitchen

You only live twice

The truth hurts

The ceiling is the roof

I’m smooth as a gravel road

I apologize but I’m not sorry

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s way better.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

My candor is infectious and delightful

I forget more than I know