The fate of mankind is with fools

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s way better.

They’re so stupid, they don’t know how stupid they are.

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re working with turkeys

A way to a man’s heart is food and BJ’s

The truth hurts

You’re too “PC.” I can’t put what I really want.

A hawk looks like an eagle when he hangs out with crows

Work is the curse of the drinking class

Men who stare at breasts are healthier

Life sucks but the IRS sucks worse

It’s just as hard to pick the last place horse as it is the first one.

All poodles are dogs, but not all dogs are poodles

If it wasn’t so fine, I wouldn’t grab it

Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs

Call me – 867-5309

I apologize but I’m not sorry

I’m smooth as a gravel road

I forget more than I know

A bush in the hand is worth two birds in a tree

My candor is infectious and delightful

There’s a fine line between drinking wine and crushing grapes

It ain’t over till the fat lady farts

My candor is infectious and delightful

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

Wolves that don’t chase sheep don’t run

I forgot so much I need a scribe

So many girls, so little time

You only live twice

Actually, the best way to get a man is to spoon in the kitchen

The ceiling is the roof

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

What beer do lesbians like? Busch

We are just a highway on the interstate of life

Best way to get a husband is spooning in the kitchen