Best way to get a husband is spooning in the kitchen

We are just a highway on the interstate of life

Men who stare at breasts are healthier

I apologize but I’m not sorry

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

A bush in the hand is worth two birds in a tree

My candor is infectious and delightful

A hawk looks like an eagle when he hangs out with crows

All poodles are dogs, but not all dogs are poodles

I’m smooth as a gravel road

The truth hurts

My candor is infectious and delightful

What beer do lesbians like? Busch

You only live twice

If it wasn’t so fine, I wouldn’t grab it

The ceiling is the roof

So many girls, so little time

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s way better.

Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs

It’s just as hard to pick the last place horse as it is the first one.

I forgot so much I need a scribe

Actually, the best way to get a man is to spoon in the kitchen

Life sucks but the IRS sucks worse

A way to a man’s heart is food and BJ’s

I forget more than I know

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

You’re too “PC.” I can’t put what I really want.

There’s a fine line between drinking wine and crushing grapes

The fate of mankind is with fools

Wolves that don’t chase sheep don’t run

It ain’t over till the fat lady farts

Call me – 867-5309

They’re so stupid, they don’t know how stupid they are.

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re working with turkeys

Work is the curse of the drinking class